i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
