Ambien. No doubt about it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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