Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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