Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
