There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
