she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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