plz talk dirty to me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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