Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
