Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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