I looked at my own cervix.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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