That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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