I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
