I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
