He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
