T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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