Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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