Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am one with the molecules
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
