Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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