How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
