Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
