that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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