Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
