I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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