um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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