Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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