5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
