My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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