high people should be assigned attendants
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
