My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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