somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
