i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize