brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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