i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
