god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
