I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
