No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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