Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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