3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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