we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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