i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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