you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
