Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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