Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
