the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am available for nakedness
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
