Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
