yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
