TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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