i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
