Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i came on her dog
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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