Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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