i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
