when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
