my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
