Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
