so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
