problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
