you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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