I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
