I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
